When you reminisce on the holidays is there a particular family story that always comes to mind? The 1983 movie, A Christmas Story, is a humorous tale of Ralphie’s craziest family holiday. In one scene, the neighbor’s dogs rush into Ralphie’s house and knock over the kitchen table where the entire Thanksgiving feast is set. The dogs ravage the meal, and Ralphie’s family is forced to go out for Chinese food on Thanksgiving. It is a funny and memorable story.
Most of us have at least one unforgettable holiday moment; hilarious drunk uncles playing Santa, cooking disasters in the kitchen, and of course the occasional family fist fight with the in-laws. When it comes to family get-togethers, we wanted to hear some more wild holiday stories that made family history. So, we asked around, and here are three crazy but true stories that will make most families feel normal!
“One year my husband and I went to Vermont to spend Christmas with his parents. He’s the youngest of six, and there were 32 of us all together including spouses and kids. My mother-in-law insisted we all stay at their place on Christmas Eve so we could open presents together the next morning. Reluctantly we agreed.
Christmas Eve was crowded, loud, and the kids were out of control. By the time we managed to put all the gifts under the tree and get the kids to sleep, we were exhausted and irritable. Christmas morning was a chaotic disaster. The children were arguing over toys. That was the good part of the day. In the afternoon one of my sisters-in-law insisted there was an evil spirit in the house and that we needed to exorcise it with a magic spell. As part of the spell she waived a lit sprig of sage around the house, triggering a severe asthma attack in my niece and she had to be rushed to the ER.
After we got home, I was happy to just put the whole nightmare behind me. But I soon discovered that all four of my kids contracted lice from my nieces. We haven’t been back to Vermont since.”
– Sarah H.
“When I was about 10, my Aunt Suzie brought her boyfriend over for Thanksgiving. Unbeknownst to all of us her boyfriend was a childhood neighbor of my dad, and there was bad blood between them. Just as my mom was setting dinner on the table, an argument broke out between my uncle and Aunt Suzie’s boyfriend. My uncle slapped the boyfriend who then pushed my uncle right onto the table, sending the entire dinner crashing to the floor. My uncle and dad took the boyfriend outside and beat him up for ruining Thanksgiving. Poor Aunt Suzie was a sobbing mess that day. She never heard from her boyfriend again.”
– Steve G.
“A few years ago we took the kids to my brother’s place in California for the holidays, and his wife hired a professional Santa Claus for the children. Everything was going great at first, Santa was shouting “Ho, Ho, Ho” and calling the kids by name. It did not take us long to realize that he was staggering drunk. He attempted to set the littlest one on his knee but fell completely out of his chair. The kids laughed, but my brother-in-law helped Santa to his feet and gently tried directing him to the door. Drunk Santa protested, trying to pull away and yelling, “I haven’t been paid yet!”
The kids looked confused, and my brother-in-law started getting angry at the struggling Santa. They fell into the Christmas tree knocking it down. As soon as the tree hit the floor, Santa hopped to his feet and ran out the door shouting “Ho, Ho, Ho!” My brother-in-law was okay, but his ego was damaged. Surprisingly, the children were delighted by all the commotion and still talk about the time Uncle got beat up by Santa Claus.”
– Wendy E.
Do you have an unforgettable holiday story to share? Submit your story to firstname.lastname@example.org, or share it as a message on our Facebook page. The story selected by our judges wins a free dinner for two at the North Square Restaurant!