Big changes are afoot here at the Washington Square Hotel.
The Paul family was recently made a generous offer to sell their historic hotel and restaurant and to the surprise of many who know them, accepted it. As much as they all love the hotel and consider it pfizer viagra online a second home, the offer was clearly attractive enough for them to grab it on the spot. The new owners will officially take over in the next month.
Yes, there will be changes. To what extent we don’t fully know, but we are aware of initial plans. To begin with, the hotel will be renamed “Trump Square”.
It’s true. The new owner is someone all New Yorkers know all too well–real estate giant Donald Trump. His crackerjack team at the Trump Organization is bound to bring some of that undeniably posh Trump style into the hotel’s current art deco splendor.
The changes will be swift and expansive, beginning with a menu and decor overhaul at North Square Restaurant, which will be re-named House of Romanov, with the new theme being one of pre-revolution royal Russian opulence. Wooden tables will be replaced with gold-plated banquettes; restrooms will be rechristened “Czar” and “Czarina” thrones.
Our regular diners will be happy to know that Chef Yoel Cruz is here to stay. He has already conducted several caviar and vodka tastings and, true to form, is spicing it up by bringing his own cultural flair to the table with a Mexican-inspired recipe for borscht, “Betabeles Ruso”. And consulting pastry chef John Cheng has been busy working around the clock on plans for a seven-foot high chocolate fountain to be placed in the lobby bar.
Even the Sunday jazz brunch will get a makeover: the Trump Organization would like to eventually morph the entertainment portion of the meal into a music competition with the Donald himself judging the up-and-coming talent. Guests tucking into Eggs Benedict just might be listening to the next Adele or Carrie Underwood!
It comes as no surprise that room décor will be turned up a notch or two on the glamour scale as well. Faux fur bedspreads, Frette sheets (with a red and gold “TS” stitched in the middle) and gold brocade curtains will grace the bedrooms; Limoges bidets will be a welcome addition in the bathrooms.
Staff uniforms will also reflect the new aesthetic: Hotel ambassador and greeter Ronnie Jenkins has been fitted for his new royal crimson uniform, complete with tasseled fez and epaulets. Restaurant bartenders and servers will only sport black Chanel, and any server with a less than perfect smile will be sent immediately to Trump’s own dentist for a through bleaching.
As some wise person who wrote greeting cards once said, “Change is good.” So as we wish our friends the Pauls well on their future endeavors, let’s give a big warm welcome to Trump Square and the House of Romanov!
Wow, that was one weird dream…. April Fool!!!!